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To honor the first black occupant of the Oval Office or to offset the prevailing gloom incurred by yet another voting fiasco in Florida, the musically maladroit and poetically-peccable duo of Mikhail Horowitz and Gilles Malkine will once again lower property values in a ten-mile radius of New Paltz, merely by appearing on the Unison stage. Joining them in what promises to be another eminently forgettable yet flawlessly grammatical evening are several very extinguished musicians, all of whom are performing incognito, for obvious reasons. Reservations? We have many. Don't get us started.

If you're not put off yet, see if this does the trick.